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What do you do with your sexuality when you are single?

April 05, 20213 min read

In a society where sexuality is everywhere, being a single Christian woman is not always easy.

Should we repress our sexuality or just ignore it? How do we manage all these hormones that inhabit us?

Or should we learn to discover and accept that our sexuality as a gift from God, which symbolizes our relationship with Jesus, and our future communion with Him.

Sexuality is beautiful. It was created by God. We are sexual beings, even when we are not married.

"Can a single woman feel loved, beautiful, physically satisfied, and confident without a husband by her side?" Yes, she can!

So how do you manage your sexuality when you are single? Here are the 3 facets of your sexuality, through an extract of my book Understanding Eve (Hurray for the Va-Jay-Jay):

Because your sexuality is firstly spiritual, I encourage you to focus on your relationship with God.

This relationship is the primary source for discovering and strengthening your identity, for feeling loved for who you are, for finding the meaning of your life, and for feeling safe. No man, or any human relationship, can perfectly meet these four essential needs.

When you start your day, begin by thanking and praising Him for who He is, and what He has made you: a woman. Thank Him for your body, and for the gifts and many qualities He has endowed you with.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin." Hebrews 4:15 (NIV)

Yes, He was tempted in all things, including sex! He remained connected to His father, in all circumstances.

Because your sexuality is also emotional, I encourage you to build close, and intimate, friendships that are balanced for your life. Friendships where you can share your heart without feeling judged. Invest in those friendships and avoid exclusivity. These friends can share your joys, sorrows, hopes, and dreams. They can support you in the eventual battles of your life. Even Jesus took care to surround himself with a small circle of friends during his time on earth: his disciples.

Because your sexuality is also physical, I encourage you to learn to identify the sexual feelings in your body so you can channel them on a physical level. What physical activities suit you best? Perhaps fitness, dance, an individual sport, or group sport. Find an activity that will allow your body to release the feel-good hormones you need to feel calm.

Another idea for building good habits in your life is to have a weekly "love date" with Jesus. Plan a specific time, set aside for you and Jesus, to take care of yourself, while focusing your thoughts on Him.

There is no reason to be ashamed of what you feel in your heart and body! Thank the Lord for a body that works!

Learn to guard your body while you are single, your sexuality is precious. It is worth the wait, believe me.

Download, for free, the first two chapters of Understanding Eve

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Rachel Miquel Dufour

Rachel Miquel Dufour is a counselor, speaker, pastor, therapist, and renown international sexologist. As she travels the world, she interacts with women whose faulty understanding of sexuality imprisons them and she then leads them to a place of empowerment and freedom. Her French background, experience as a mother of five sons, missionary work in Asia, the years she spent as a pastor in France, and her experience as a therapist, all contribute to her unique perspective. She and her husband, Eric, are the founders of Serving Alongside Ministry (SAM), an organization providing counseling and support to Christian leaders all over the globe. Rachel is currently working on her Doctor of Ministry in Counseling with Vision International University in Ramona, California.

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