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You don't love me!

August 12, 20212 min read

How many times have you used this phrase with your husband when you feel forgotten by him? The situations that bring about this declaration, are diverse and varied, but they always leave our husbands angry, in a place of total misunderstanding, and overflowing with questions…

“How can you say that I do not love you just because I walk faster than you?”

“How can you say that I do not love you just because I didn’t hang up my jacket when I got home?”

“How can you say I do not love you just because I forgot to call you today. I had a really crazy day at work!” 

"How can you say that I don't love you, simply because..."

Just like that, frustrations and arguments develop, and can become zone of conflict, or distance, between couples. 

There are real treasures to discover under these painful minefields.

What if you change that murderous phrase, "You don’t love me!” into a sentence that brings life, “I feel loved by you when..." : 

"When you walk alongside me or take my hand when we go somewhere together, I feel so loved and safe!" 

"When you remember to hang up your jacket when you come home, I feel so loved. It shows me you respect the ease I feel when our house is tidy." 

"When you think of calling me or texting me once a day, I feel so loved! Thank you for setting an alarm on your phone to never forget. Hearing your voice or reading your words keeps me connected to you all day long.”

Of course, these are just general examples, but think about your daily life. When you face a topic that creates constant tension and addressing it always leaves you sad and feeling distant from your husband, change your approach. Instead of firing accusations, try to find the hidden secret to what will make you feel loved in these previously frustrating situations.

"I feel so loved when…"  is a sentence that will change your life!


Learn practical tools to build your marriage on a solid foundation in Developing a Healthy Marriage.

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Rachel Miquel Dufour

Rachel Miquel Dufour is a counselor, speaker, pastor, therapist, and renown international sexologist. As she travels the world, she interacts with women whose faulty understanding of sexuality imprisons them and she then leads them to a place of empowerment and freedom. Her French background, experience as a mother of five sons, missionary work in Asia, the years she spent as a pastor in France, and her experience as a therapist, all contribute to her unique perspective. She and her husband, Eric, are the founders of Serving Alongside Ministry (SAM), an organization providing counseling and support to Christian leaders all over the globe. Rachel is currently working on her Doctor of Ministry in Counseling with Vision International University in Ramona, California.

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