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Since this is a complex question, it requires multiple answers. Keep in mind that this question insinuates that you truly want to obey and please God in, and through, your love life.
First, let’s address the scenario of you living together, without being married and without children. This relationship, as it is, cannot last because you are living outside the covenant of marriage, which means you are outside of God's will for your life. Ask for forgiveness, then change your lifestyle.
Either you decide to sanctify your relationship by marriage, or you must end the relationship. Before you make this life altering decision, take time to consider what God’s will is. The Bible clearly says that Christians are not to enter into the covenant of marriage with an unbeliever who does not accept or rejects Christ. (“Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith].” 2 Corinthians 6:14, AMP)
The second scenario is when your relationship has given birth to children. In this case, it is obviously necessary to think of their well-being. They need a dad and a mom to raise them, love them, and most importantly, to share their faith in Jesus. In this case, unless you are in a toxic and/or dangerous relationship, the wisest thing to do is to be joined before God in marriage.
If you are already married, then the Bible is very clear. Paul’s words are simple: stay with your spouse, and pray for them! Your simple presence and your prayers protect your children. It is also possible that by your godly testimony, you can bring your spouse to faith, because God always wants to bless a marriage! (1 Corinthians 7:10-16)
No matter the circumstances, let your lifestyle reflect that of your Savior!
Eric & Rachel Dufour
We have over 30 years of counseling experience as pastors, missionaries, therapists, and marriage counselors. Rachel is also a sexologist. We travel the world as counselors and therapists, to provide help and teachings through various platforms and media. We are also the parents of five boys, now all adults. We began our work in ministry in the 90’s, with the establishment of a church in Alsace (France), all while working in a rehabilitation center for drug addicts and abused women. After answering God’s call on our lives to become missionaries, we moved to South-East Asia. In 2008, we established ourselves in Colorado (USA) and started helping pastors and missionaries in need, from around the world.
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