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Have you heard of “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman? It is a book that all couples should read together. In this book, Gary Chapman outlines our basic and essential love languages.
Acts of Service: If your spouse feels loved when you do the dishes for him/her, when you serve them a cup of tea, when you fill the car with gas for him/her... find small ways to serve them, and you will make them the happiest person in the world!
Physical Touch: If your spouse feels loved when you touch him/her, when you pass your hand through his/her hair, when you catch him/her by surprise and put your arms around them... touch your spouse as often as possible, and you will make them the happiest person in the world!
Receiving Gifts: If your spouse feels loved when you give them a gift, no matter how small, if their face lights up when you bring back a little souvenir of your last trip, or if you bring them home a beautiful bouquet of flowers simply because... be intentional and brainstorm to find the small gestures that will make him or her the happiest in the world!
Words of Affirmation: If your spouse feels loved when you compliment them on who they are or what they have accomplished, if he/she is constantly asking for these precious compliments... It is because these words of affirmation are like oxygen in their lungs and your words do them so much good: «You are great, thank you for all that you accomplished today!» Say these little phrases to your spouse as often as possible and you will make them the happiest person in the world!
Quality Time: If your spouse feels appeased when you can spend time together, if their tension dissipates simply because you sat down for half an hour to talk quietly, if shopping is something that they like to do with you, This is because he or she needs to spend quality time with you... Get yourself organized, plan and protect these very special moments of connection with your spouse, and you will make them the happiest person in the world!
Eric and I would like to add a 6th element: food! Cooking for those we love is very often a way of saying I love you. Eating together also produces the same positive effect!
We encourage you to know and practice your spouse's love language or languages. They can have several.
Spending time together around a good meal prepared with love is a language rooted in the French culture that we invite you to discover!
Eric & Rachel Dufour
We have over 30 years of counseling experience as pastors, missionaries, therapists, and marriage counselors. Rachel is also a sexologist. We travel the world as counselors and therapists, to provide help and teachings through various platforms and media. We are also the parents of five boys, now all adults. We began our work in ministry in the 90’s, with the establishment of a church in Alsace (France), all while working in a rehabilitation center for drug addicts and abused women. After answering God’s call on our lives to become missionaries, we moved to South-East Asia. In 2008, we established ourselves in Colorado (USA) and started helping pastors and missionaries in need, from around the world.
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