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Choosing the Right Spouse

October 04, 20222 min read

How can one choose the right spouse? This is an excellent question! Marriage is a real challenge and must be cultivated for a lifetime. Building your relationship on the right foundations is essential!

  • If you are a believer, choose a spouse who shares your faith. If you want to win the "relationship game", it is better to play on the same team. "Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14

  • Take the time to build a solid friendship before allowing romantic feelings to overtake your relationship. There is no greater joy, than being married to your best friend.

  •  Have intellectual conversations: Accept that they have a different opinions to yours, and learn to respect their position.

  • Have fun together: Discover each other's hobbies, choose one to discover together.

  • Learn to love each other’s friends. Build a common circle of friends. Get to know each other in a group setting.

  • Spend time together to share your emotions, your memories, and your dreams.

  • Pray together, talk about God, the Bible, and your walk with God.

  • Of course, you must consider your future spouse to be the most beautiful person in the world! Sometimes, this physical attraction takes time to develop, but when considering growing old with someone, it is much better to be physically attracted to that person, who will accompany us through all the changes that our bodies endure with age.

  • Ask God to give you a ‘green light’ in your heart for the relationship. Take time to reflect on this in prayer BEFORE you become too emotionally, spiritually or physically connected otherwise, hormones will cloud your judgment.

  • Pray with your close friends, who want what’s best for you, so they can help you discover what God’s will is. It is important to note here that God will speak to you both, individually, about the relationship you want to build. Do not let yourself be influenced by people who come to you with statements like, “God told me that you had to get married to _________.” God speaks directly to you, especially in the case of ​​marriage.

This is just some food for thought and remember, every story is different.

Time spent reflecting on your choice of a spouse, can only be taken before marriage. It is not an option to consider your choice, after you have taken vows. Once the union is sealed, the relationship can and will succeed, because now the man and the woman have become one in the eyes of God. This covenant made before God allows us to say, “With God, we can face all that life has in store for us, and push through the good and bad times, victoriously.”

Build your house with God as your foundation, you'll never regret it!


Learn practical tools to build your marriage on a solid foundation in Developing a Healthy Marriage.

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Eric & Rachel Dufour

We have over 30 years of counseling experience as pastors, missionaries, therapists, and marriage counselors. Rachel is also a sexologist. We travel the world as counselors and therapists, to provide help and teachings through various platforms and media. We are also the parents of five boys, now all adults. We began our work in ministry in the 90’s, with the establishment of a church in Alsace (France), all while working in a rehabilitation center for drug addicts and abused women. After answering God’s call on our lives to become missionaries, we moved to South-East Asia. In 2008, we established ourselves in Colorado (USA) and started helping pastors and missionaries in need, from around the world.

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