Developing a Healthy Marriage

Masturbation: Let's talk about it.

addiction eric dufour sexuality Oct 30, 2020
Masturbation: Let's talk about it.

Masturbation, we must dare to talk about it and break the taboos that have unfortunately, sometimes, cost the lives of young christians, who were fighting it without being able to find help. 

Is masturbation a sin? No and Yes! It all depends on the reality that exists behind the word.

Masturbation is the self-stimulation of the genitals. But we must not confuse masturbation with discovery of the body.

Side note: Here, I want to refer you to my wife's excellent book "Understanding Eve (Hurray for the Va-Jay-Jay)" which deals extensively, in one of it's chapters, on the subject of discovering your body.

From childhood to adolescence, a boy or girl, will face sooner or later, a natural mechanism that will lead them to discover this part of their anatomy.

God created us with genitals so that we can know pleasure. Parents, if you catch your child discovering themselves by touching these parts, do not tell them that it's dirty, rather explain to them in simple words, appropriate for their age and without embarrassment, what their genitals were made for.

Sexuality is God’s creation, not a snare of the devil. It is pure!

All little boys, for example, will wake up one morning with their penis erect, and even followed by an ejaculation, without understanding what is happening to them! May they be able to find, in their parents, a safe and caring place where what has happened will be explained, without the weight of shame and guilt being placed on their hearts!

No, the Bible is not condemning masturbation in Genesis 38: 9-10.

This passage is all about the sin of Onan. God is punishing him here, for his refusal to give an offspring to his widowed sister-in-law by spilling his semen on the ground, during his sexual intercourse with her.

Can one live as a fulfilled and satisfied adult, without practicing masturbation? Absolutely, Yes! 

Is it a disaster, or a sin, that will separate us from God if it happens accidentally? No, I do not believe this at all. Because it can also be a natural process, that allows the body to release too much pent-up tension.

On the other hand, yes, masturbation can lead to opening up doors to sin when it is fed by erotic thoughts with a person, real or not, and pornographic images. It can also lead to an addiction that will be a real handicap in a couple, even after marriage. It can lead to a tendency to ejaculate prematurely, or difficulty finding pleasure with one’s spouse... problems that are better to avoid.

So, should we live without it? Yes. But let's stop terrorizing our youth with Hell’s fire on this subject. Instead, let’s educate them and help them understand and respect God's gift of sexuality!

 

Eric Dufour

 

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