Developing a Healthy Marriage

I Communicate, You Communicate, We Communicate

communication relationships May 27, 2022

One of the great joys of having grown children now is watching them become aware of the realities of adulthood. One evening, one of our married sons spoke about the happiness of being in a relationship with his wife, and the real, and serious, challenge of building that relationship.

"When I come home at night, after a long and tiring day, my wife needs to talk and I have to be there for her. I did not expect it to be so challenging!"

Communication is a whole symphony!

  • I communicate:
    • Take the time to go over the topics that are important to you or your spouse.
    • Pick the topic you feel is most pressing.
    • Suggest an appropriate time for both of you to have a calm conversation. Try to avoid moments of tension, fatigue or stress for one or both of you.
    • Bring up the subject you want to address in a positive and constructive way. Be sure to avoid blame and absolutes such as "never" and "always".
  • You communicate:
    • Listen to your spouse.
    • Confirm what you are hearing by repeating, in your own words, what he or she said, in order to make sure you understand what is being communicated.
    • Take time to breathe (don't cut each other off).
    • Keep a loving tone and do not raise your voice to feel heard. Being heard is not a question of volume.
    • Keep your eyes on the goal: You listen to hear each other and move in the same direction.
  • We communicate:
    • You need a "Win-Win" solution.
    • Continue the conversation until you both feel like you've been heard.

You are not alone, God is with you. Bathe these conversations in prayer and humor! You'll be happy as you feel closer to each other, one conversation at a time.



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