Developing a Healthy Marriage

I Choose to Not Get Angry

emotions eric dufour Oct 09, 2020
I Choose to Not Get Angry

The anger we are talking about here is not the expression of indignation. Indignation can be a legitimate and controlled feeling without sin, like that which Jesus manifested on many occasions such as when He drove away the merchants of the temple or when He spoke harshly to the Pharisees, for example.

The anger of which we speak here is that of which the apostle James says does not fulfill the will of God (James 1:20), and of which Paul (Ephesians 4: 26-27) reminds us that it is essential not to leave it to fester as we fall asleep, otherwise we invite the devil into our lives.

How can we know the difference between the two?

Indignation is a healthy and necessary emotion, generated by an unacceptable moral situation. It does not dominate us but remains under our control and requires action as a believer. Ex: Violence, abuse, lives being endangered . . . 

Pure anger is often uncontrolled. It dominates the one who is affected by it. It makes them lose control of their thoughts, words and actions during the time that anger has it’s hold. It blinds them to the consequences that will follow.

Why are we angry?

Often it is because we were unable to express all of our positive or negative emotions at the right moment. Thus, these emotions accumulate to a certain extent in our soul, until the day when the cup overflows and everything comes out like a nuclear explosion.

There are many reasons why one gets angry and it varies in each individual but some of these reasons are; a lack of self-control, bad education, growing up in an environment conducive to verbal or physical violence, excessive suffering or sadness, or as a defense mechanism.

How can we resist?

  • Recognize you have a problem!

  • Humble yourself and invite the Holy Spirit to fight this battle with you.

  • Acknowledge and list the situations in which you allow these explosions to take place. How do you justify it? (Injustice, fear, shame)

  • Recognize the moment where, in the secret of your heart, you have the choice to say yes or no to the anger. Learn to consciously master this moment.

  • Look up a list of words that describes different emotions and use them in your daily vocabulary to express how you feel.

  • Ask forgiveness from those you have hurt.

  • Do not be discouraged, this fight takes time.

  • Celebrate each victory over anger.

  • God has the power, as you actively participate, to deliver you from it.

  • Self-control is one of the fruits of the life of the Holy Spirit in us (Galatians 5:22).

May God bless your efforts!

Eric Dufour


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