Developing a Healthy Marriage

Desiring Children

parenting rachel miquel dufour Jul 30, 2021

What should we do with the desire for children? This is a great question.

Family is a gift from God; it was created by Him. The husband and wife are a representation of Christ and the Church. Their desire to build a family and to have children is, therefore, very natural.

Unfortunately, in the Christian world we have often focused too much on family being some sort of unique and necessary evolution in our journey with Christ. 

Implicitly, we have sometimes replaced the invisible aspects of our Christian walk, sanctification, by growth in the visible Christian walk. Too often, the ultimate goal of a single person is primarily to aspire to marry and then to have children.

Sadly, we have left generations of single and married Christians without children in great suffering and misunderstanding of God's plan for their lives.

Our growth with Christ brings us closer to our Fiancé who will be coming back for us at the wedding supper of the Lamb. During our earthly pilgrimage, some will build a family, others will not. Both situations are pleasing to Him.

For those who will have the joy and responsibility of building a family, it is important to ask, once again, the right questions. Why do you “want” a child? 

  • If it is because you want to be like everyone else and uphold the standards of society or your local church, it will be a mistake!
  • If it is a self-centered desire, wanting to have a child to be better than your friends, neighbors, or parents, it will be a mistake!
  • If it is just because our biological clock is ticking and the number of candles on your birthday cake makes you dizzy, it will be a mistake!
  • If it is because you feel that God wants to entrust you with a little soul to teach in the ways of God, this is the right starting point!
  • If it is because you believe that God wants to entrust you with a human being who has a destiny to fulfill on this earth, and you see the opportunity to love them, to protect them, and to help them grow into an adult who will be able to fulfill God's plan for their life, your mind is in the right place!
  • If when you sit around the dinner table and it just doesn’t feel like your family is complete, you have the feeling that God has another little human to bless you with, it is because there is still room in your hearts for another child.
  • If it is because you want this child to come into the world and receive eternal life, then the disposition of your heart is right.

Bringing a child into the world is a heavy responsibility that will last a lifetime. Let us love the children whom God entrusts to us, whether they are found in our own family or in the wider circle of our lives. Children are precious in God’s eyes. 

However your child comes into your life, even if you did not plan for him or her or if it was because of your desire to build a family, God will be on your side to help raise, love and lead to Christ any child He gives to you. 

And if your heart bleeds because your desire for a child remains unfulfilled and your arms are empty, we pray for you while writing these words. May God fill you, comfort you, and grant you your heart’s desire.

Rachel Miquel Dufour 

Learn how to raise your children to love God by watching our YouTube video.


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